Third way
Flagged as a concern
The stance that a church will not take a position on same-sex marriage and sexuality, treating it as a matter on which members may disagree.
Also called: third-way approach, agree to disagree on sexuality
What it means
A third-way church neither affirms same-sex marriage nor teaches the historic sexual ethic as binding. Instead it treats the question like a secondary matter, such as views on the end times, on which Christians may disagree while remaining in full fellowship. Practice varies: some such churches leave decisions about marriage and membership to individual pastors or members.
Churches often adopt this stance out of a desire to keep unity, to avoid wounding people, or because leaders are genuinely unsure. Those are understandable motives, and the site records the stance as a concern, not as a settled departure.
The historic church and the Westminster and 1689 confessions do not treat marriage and sexual holiness as open questions. Scripture teaches clearly on them, and the New Testament lists sexual immorality among sins that bear on entering the kingdom of God.
What Scripture says
Paul warns believers not to be deceived about sexual immorality and the kingdom of God.
God's will is sanctification and abstaining from sexual immorality; rejecting this is rejecting God.
Paul declared to the church the whole counsel of God, holding nothing back.
Mature believers are not tossed by every wind of doctrine but speak the truth in love.
What is wrong with it
Scripture does not leave sexual ethics as a matter of indifference. Paul tells the church not to be deceived on this very point, and he says that rejecting God's teaching on sexual holiness is rejecting God himself. The question is not like a debate over the timing of Christ's return; it concerns obedience that Scripture places near the heart of discipleship.
Shepherds are called to declare the whole counsel of God. Silence on a question this pressing is itself a kind of answer, and members will hear it as permission.
How it undermines the truth
It undermines the clarity and sufficiency of Scripture, by treating a plain teaching as unclear. It undermines the pastoral office, which exists to teach and guard the flock. And it weakens the call to holiness and repentance that belongs to the gospel.
How it can harm a church
Members who most need clear guidance, including young people and those struggling with same-sex attraction, are left without it. Such a church can find itself unable to counsel, marry, or discipline consistently, and the stance has often proven a stopping point on the way to affirming theology rather than a lasting middle ground.
Faithful members can also be left in a painful position, unsure whether their church will support them in living by Scripture.
This page describes a teaching, not the faith of any person who holds it.
Where it comes up
On this site: Marriage & sexuality
Related terms
Historic sexual ethicHistoric orthodoxy
The teaching, held by the whole church through its history, that marriage is the lifelong union of one man and one woman and the only right place for sexual intimacy.
Affirming theologySerious error
The teaching that the church should bless same-sex marriages and same-sex sexual relationships as faithful before God.
Silence on sex and genderFlagged as a concern
A church's choice, deliberate or not, to state no position on whether a person's sex is given by God, in a time when the question presses on every family.
Sufficiency of ScriptureHistoric orthodoxy
Scripture contains everything we need to know for salvation, faith, and life, so nothing needs to be added to it.